God’s Roles for Men and Women | Jesus Is King of Kings, Not Us

Who sits on the throne of your home determines who will be in charge and rule over your family. Because Jesus is King of kings, He must be the one—not us—to sit on the throne. We often want to be the ones sitting high in our homes, but this is not God’s design. Our homes become out of alignment when we place ourselves in Jesus’ position. 

Our marriages and families must be realigned if Jesus isn’t on the throne. Realignment is painful. Realignment takes patience. But if we let the misalignment go too far, we no longer need a slight adjustment. We will need complete reconstruction. 

Your marriage may need a minor adjustment or complete reconstruction. There is always hope. Jesus is King of kings and is always in the business of building castles (homes) on a firm foundation. It is wise to assess your role and be honest about who’s sitting on the throne in your home. This is when healing begins.

Who Sits on the Throne of Your Home?

Ask yourself, “Who sits on the throne of my home?” Jesus is King of kings, not us. Perhaps there is tension in your marriage or family. Ask God to realign and adjust you, your marriage, and your family to reflect His design. Give Him His rightful place as King on the throne of your home. 

Marriages Need to Be Realigned

God’s design for marriage is for both husbands and wives to submit to the King of kings—Jesus Christ. Many marriages today are out of alignment because expectations are unrealistic.  

Chauvinism and feminism fight over the throne in the home. 

  • Male chauvinism

Throughout human history, civilizations have been fraught with male domination. Looking back, you see women dominated by men. This is not God’s intent, but it is a result of the fall of Adam. Men have pushed their way onto the throne, and wives, children, marriages, and families have suffered. 

Women were seen as property and had no rights. Only when Christianity got a foothold in societies were women liberated and eventually seen as equal among men. Why? Because this aligns with God’s design. True liberation and equality exist when God’s Word is ruling in society. 

  • Modern feminism

More recently, modern feminism has replaced male chauvinism. Modern feminism is an effort to dethrone men from this place of domination. The problem with modern feminism isn’t equal wages for working women. We can agree that pay equality is deserved. The problem is that it seeks to usurp, erase, and reverse the God-given role given to men. 

This is why there is so much tension brought into marriages today. 

Between traditional male chauvinism and modern feminism, you can see why there is tension and struggles over who sits on the throne in the home. But the truth is that neither one of these views leads to alignment. 

The reality is that a castle—your home—only has one throne and can’t be shared by both or dominated by either the husband or the wife.  

Jesus is King of kings, which is why He alone must be placed on the throne in your home. He is the only one who can sit upon it and bring realignment. 

When and Where Did Misalignment Happen?

This design got out of alignment when sin entered the Garden in Genesis 3. 

  • To the woman He said: ‘I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.’ Then to Adam He said, ‘Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, “You shall not eat of it”: Cursed is the ground for your sake; in toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, and you shall eat the herb of the field. In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for dust you are, and to dust you shall return.’”—Genesis 3:16-19

As a result of Adam and Eve’s disobedience to God, both suffered consequences related to alignment. 

Eve’s consequence had to do with marriage and family. 

  • Children would bring her great joy but also much pain. 
  • Marriage would be strained instead of simple. 
  • She would fight for the throne in the home.

God’s design for marriage was to be a place of comfort, love, and belonging. The fall created disorder in the design. The marriage relationship would be cursed with tension and a fight for who sits on the throne in the home. 

Adam’s consequence had to do with marriage, family, and work

  • Work would become difficult, frustrating, and painful.
  • Adam’s work struggles would impact every area of his life. 
  • His position would be misdirected.

Adam failed to speak truth, lead, and protect Eve against deception. Because of the events in the Garden, women naturally want to take a husband’s position. The curse says a wife will naturally desire to compete against her husband. Likewise, the husband will naturally desire to “rule” over her. 

God’s heart was never to have a woman compete for a man’s position or a man dominate a woman. Whether it is traditional male chauvinism or modern feminism, both go against God’s roles for men and women and do not see Jesus as King of kings. 


God’s Roles for Husbands and WivesA man and woman holding hands as the sun shines in the background.

In marriage, men and women are equal but not the same. They differ in function. Responsibilities are different from functions. For example, a couple may agree that it is the husband’s responsibility to cook dinner, and the wife’s responsibility is to mow the grass. These responsibilities can shift or switch from generation to generation or family to family. But functions and God-given roles don’t change. 

In our society, we’ve confused equality with sameness. The result is broken marriages and families. Roles are to work within the functions given. If you want a solid marriage, the roles God gave to men and women cannot change. If they do, marriages crumble. If you don’t want a marriage on the rocks, then don’t rock the roles. 

God’s View of Husband and Wife

Genesis 2:24 tells us that God’s view of husband and wife is “one flesh.” Once you say, “I do,” God no longer sees two of you but one. 

  • “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

The husband is the head. 

  • “For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.”—Ephesians 5:23

The wife is the body.

  • “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.”—Ephesians 5:28-29

Regarding health, neither the head nor the body is more important. They are equally critical to the life and health of a being, yet they differ in function. Jesus wants us to see this in His design for marriage: God’s roles for men and women are equally important yet differ in function. 

When the head and body align in unity and harmony, it brings health and healing to every part of the being. This alignment can’t happen without knowing and acting in accordance with the truth that Jesus is King of kings and must be the ruler of your marriage and home. 

Jesus Is King of Kings | How to Place Him on the Throne of Your Home

To end tension and the battle of the sexes, give Jesus complete dominion in your home. The struggle for control in marriage and your home leaves when Jesus sits alone on the throne.  

Understand God’s Design by Reading God’s Word

God has to be the builder of your marriage and home. He wants to see your family succeed. He is the Creator and Designer, so for the best results, consult the manufacturer. This is no different from consulting the owner’s manual after purchasing a new stove when it doesn’t work as designed. The Bible tells us about what the Designer planned for us, who we are, what roles we are meant to play, and how we are designed to function so that our marriages and families work as intended. 

Understand Submission by Fearing the Lord

Fearing the Lord is walking in humility and standing in awe and reverence of all He is. When doing this, we naturally will submit to Him. When a husband and wife are in submission to God, they will then submit to one another. Paul writes in Ephesians 5:21, “…submitting to one another in the fear of God.” The tension will dissipate when both husband and wife mutually submit to God, proclaiming that Jesus is King of kings and placing Him on their home’s throne. 

Understand “Leading and Needing”

When a wife submits to her husband’s lead, and the husband submits to his wife’s needs, the marriage is positioned to succeed. This is how to walk as one flesh. Through this unity, couples experience the joy of unity and intimacy as God designed them to. 

Why God’s Roles for Men and Women Are Sacred

These roles are important and sacred because they paint a picture of Jesus’ relationship with His Church. The wife as the body and the husband as the head reflect Christ’s role as our lead and our role in needing Him. 

This is why the Church is called the Bride of Christ and the Body of Christ: to reflect this relationship between Jesus and us. 

Everything God does spiritually, He paints a picture physically. And He wants to bring alignment to marriages and families today. But in order to do that, we must walk in humility and remove ourselves from the throne. Jesus is King of kings. Place Him on the throne of your home today.